Throughout my childhood and adolescence I had to be very independent at an early age as both parents were working full-time. It is something that stayed with me for life. The positive aspect of that experience: I learned to be independent at a very early age. The somewhat more challenging aspect: I believed I always had to do everything by myself and alone. No doubt am I very capable of doing things alone but throughout life it can take a toll when I have a lot on my plate.
Being a single mom and having many friends who are single moms and also single dads with hardship stories I came to understand how much responsibility we have to carry alone on a daily basis and the choices that we have to make alone. Equally we might display a lot more resilience as humans because often we work for two.
At times we might face what appears to be Goliath in various forms. We witness how our society just stands by and watches how our governments pour millions into useless projects, fund corrupt corporations and continuously makes attempts to take away our god given natural right to freedom and independence. Despite often working 200% we are asked to work even more. For what I may ask? Who or what are we working for? At the end we deliver a huge amount of tax to a government that does not give it back to us, does not share it with the truly needy or use it to change the huge gap between rich and poor. Many would now say: but they build schools and roads. Look at the educational sector! All we ever hear is "saving costs" and "cutting funds". Even hospital beds and in fact it seems anything that is meant to serve its people in a compassionate way is being reduced or removed altogether.
In this current situation I see no other way for us but to make a conscious choice. How do we want to live our lives? Every single one of us has to make that choice. Nobody out there can do it for us.
What I have been witnessing is that too many people have handed over responsibility and their power to the government and maybe even corrupt politicians. The potential that I see in our challenging times lies in taking back the responsibility. As aware and conscious citizens not just of our countries but this world we have to realise that we have become too comfortable in allowing others to make choices over our well-being. We no longer ask ourselves if what the doctor says is right and the only option? How often do people get a second or third opinion? How many times do we question the teacher and maybe move class or school to see that our children thrive in a different environment? Instead we let our children suffer, be traumatised and watch them lose confidence and joy.
The amount of times people feel helpless. Why? Part of it has to do with having grown up with people who made decisions for us and against our will: parents, relatives, teachers, government etc.
What do we need to teach our children and what do we need to heal ourselves? To seek help when we need help. No matter how helpless a situation sometimes might seem there is always a possibility to change that. Courage is needed to take a step towards self-compassion and self-love. It is important to become aware that you are no longer that child and now it is up to you to decide. We need to give our children opportunities to learn to make decisions. The amount of parents who will give you a long list of what they want their children to be like while at the same time raising them in a way that prevents them completely from becoming that being and person.
Will you make that conscious choice today to start practicing self-love and self-compassion? What, maybe even tiny, step can you take to regain your sovereignty, your power and responsibility? What would that tiny step be?
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