The magic of healthy boundaries

I would like to share with you a bit more about the magic of healthy boundaries. 

You might wonder how healthy boundaries can have anything to do with magic? 

Let me elaborate here a little. Many things in my life changed for the better once I had clear boundaries in place. 

When you are able to say "no" to a situation or a person, it will open up a space where you can create more magic for yourself and ultimately others.

I have to admit though that it was at times a turbulent journey to learn how to set healthy boundaries. 

Let me briefly share an example.

The short version: After my dog and I had been attacked for the third time by the same dog and I had ended up with a torn jacket and bite marks on my arm I really had enough. 

I was so angry that I filed a police report, which for me was a very big step to take. My anger was not irrational or abusive. My anger was a very clear emotion that was saying: "Enough of allowing others to harm me and my dog!"

The other dog was used to not being called back immediately and had developed a taste for attacking my dog, who had been on the leash. The owner was not setting the necessary boundaries so I had to do it to protect myself and my dog. 

I had tried to talk to the owner before but she was not willing to set boundaries for her dog. My step to file a police report has certainly changed the dog owner's behaviour, at least towards me and my dog and maybe it has prevented more attacks towards other dogs and their owners. 

If you translate this story to your experiences in life, I am sure that you will be able to list situations or people where you have not set clear boundaries and ultimately hurt yourself. You might have lost your joy, happiness, money or even your health. 

Imagine yourself in a situation where your have those healthy boundaries. How would that transform your life? Could you possibly be experiencing more magic? What is keeping you from setting healthy boundaries?

Through my somatic's and therapeutic training I understood that anger is a healthy emotion that signals our brain and our body that something is out of alignment. 

The question though is how to express our anger in a healthy way. 

When I explored the topic of boundaries through the tamalpa life arts process, I came to realise that it was not about building walls to protect myself. It was about recognising that healthy boundaries were a form of self-care, self-love and self-compassion.

It might be one small step for you to accept and embrace the feeling of anger. Another step might be to ask yourself what it is trying to tell you. Your body speaks to you.

What can happen when we suppress or are forced to suppress anger for too long as it often happens in childhood? It might turn into depression, which one of my life arts teacher always described as “aggression turned inwards”. 

It can also create physical disease.

Suppressed anger might also express itself as rage, which we are starting to see increasingly surfacing around the world. I am observing how people’s own suppressed anger is being fuelled by different events. 

So, a small step might be to become aware of your body's language and start to understand it.   

We can express anger in a healthy way by setting clear boundaries and avoiding the stage of rage, depression or lashing out at everybody else. 

Wherever you are on your journey, maybe one small step can start moving things in the “right” direction. Take it without any expectations and who knows, it might turn out to be a quantum leap.

Coming up next: "The magic of music." So, stay tuned...

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